Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
