In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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