What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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