Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he thought i was a dude.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
