I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
