"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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