Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
