Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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