that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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