worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
