I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
