i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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