I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
