whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
