bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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