you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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