i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
