Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
