just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
