I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
