I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
