it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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