in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
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