Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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