im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
