How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So squirting runs in the family.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
