I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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