he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
