haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
