Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
