hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
