Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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