do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
