Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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