bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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