haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
