I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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