like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
