Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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