did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize