rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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