my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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