hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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