at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
