I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
