Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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