i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
