i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
