sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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