is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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