You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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