it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
